The MAN list!

 

Instituted to The Misc. Things sometime in early 1998, this is an ongoing list of everyone I've hailed and titled as being "THE MAN!" along with absolutely definitive reasons why. Keep in mind that THE MAN doesn't always have to be male...or human, for that matter. The best example of this would be Babs Bunny (awesome since waaaaaay before the list began)!

New for September 26, 2001, they've been divided into their corresponding years, so you'll know who was who when, though I'm not sure about the order of the 2000 pair. In the future, I would like to garnish this gallery of greats by adding in each one's picture! Oooooo...

Now for a few words from a January 1999-stressed WCW fan, me:

"NOTE: KEVIN NASH didn't betray WCW, he betrayed his fans at the close of the first Nitro of 1999. Luckily, that little TMNT factoid saves him as far as the list goes."

!!!NOW!!!
Submit your MAN!s at
The Funk DOC's THE MAN Lists!

1998

GOLDBERG!!!- Former WCW Heavyweight champion of the planet.

Kevin Nash- NWO Wolfpac leader who played the part of Super Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. ...and beat Goldberg.

Pentarou- The Parodius Penguin. He's cool because...just look at him.

Pen Pen- The penguin from Neon Genesis Evangelion. He reads the newspaper in Episode 7 as if he understands it.

Sachiel- The 3rd Angel in Neon Genesis Evangelion. He's cool cuz'... oh, he looks like an 80's cartoon beast, and he has a beak, and everyone's always bothering him, and he cannot be killed by anyone other than himself...and GOL- no, sorry, WRAAAAATH!

SLOGRA- You saw that one coming. See Slogra's Shrine. He needs a Venus Weed.

Gaibon- Slogra's partner in slime. That dude is tough, buff, and the stuff. He gets all the Succubi.

Skull Knight- Twice as tall as you, he's the first Ultimate Evil you face in Dracula's Curse. He may be the first pushover, but he is a FIERCE-LOOKING first pushover.

The Bone Dragon King- I've always held dinosaurs close to my heart, and this skeleton is no different.

Grim Reaper- Hand to hand combat with this blasstard in CastleVania: Dracula X for SNES!!!

Rocko- Wallaby-walloping action! Standing in the center of his modern life, Rocko is THE MAN!!!

Kurt Kalata- The Father of CastleVania fandom on the web, or as I've come to call it, the CastleVania WorldWide.

Mike Boyajian- HTML Magi who made it all look attractive.

Lyndon Moore-The Son, inspired by the budding Dungeon to take his place on the web. First to bring KONAMI WORLD into the Vaniacs' eyes.

Eric Roman- The Partner Spirit who aided Kurt in many a Dracula battle. Tries to make a bootleg Evangelion plot out of all this......:P Anyway, creator of what is later known as DCTP, CastleVania Humor pioneer, etc., etc., I can go on. But you'd probably rather continue below...

Asuka Langley Soryu- Mega slapping action!

Sakura whateverherlastnameis- Sailor Scout Massacrererererer...

1999

John+Audra Baxter- Together, they created 1999's funniest CV site of them all!

Bret the Hitman Hart- Because he's a true champion. He got screwed by WWF, then again by WCW when he lost to Piper.

Wrath- It's sad to see that his active fame time remaining is 14min 59sec. Screw the system.

Serena Leilani- Who?

The Last Man Standing- Because he is, the LAST MAN STANDING. Some say he's Al B. Pri in disguise...hmm...

Vicki Fox (not THAT Vicki Fox[?])- says..."Keep supporting the W B W." Her photo receives the most blows of any WBW contender, with the exception of myself,

Kro MAGMA- The caveman of the WBW who invented the wheel. He won't hesitate to bend your backbone into the shape of his magnum opus.

Jean Pierre- He's the nicest guy on television who won't decimate Vicki Fox's picture the way the Nacho Man, Roland, and the Last Man Standing would. He's a French Canadian.

2000(?)

Clark Gable/Rhett Butler- Clark Gable IS the soul of Rhett Butler in the outstanding film, Gone With the Wind. Mr. Butler's wealth, style, and sharp wit makes him truly THE MAN!

Sean Connery- Fine actor and cool dude with mad style at his noble age. And he STILL gets the girl?! Now that's the MAN!

2001

Jerry Springer- Has flipped Talk Show-dom for all time. At one point, the Jerry Springer theme sounded like the interlude from the Evangelion song, "Kokoro yo Genshi ni Modore"...

Security Steve- Jerry Springer's (bald) head of the security team who refused an offer from the WWF just to continue making the show just that much cooler. He gets play from all the ladies in the audience, who just HAVE to rub his shiny bald head. I was watching an episode of Jerry Springer when I wrote these two...

Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres- Radical Fine Art comin' to you from the 1790s up to the 1860 decades!

Rockapella- Will they NEVER find that Sandiego redhead?

Suzuna from Kao no nai Tsuki- Proving far beyond the shadow of a doubt that Hentai can actually be a beautiful thing.

Ci Caprice- Extremely adorable Best Supporting Maid from Sakura Taisen (Sakura Wars) 3.

Erica Fountaine- Because this barbecue-haired French lass was the first thing that triggered my interest in Sakura Taisen 3. Along with the lovely 3 minute DVD clip.

Hanabi Whateverherlastnameis (Kitaoji)- There's something about that yamato girl...

Ukyo Tachibana- This guy doesn't even need to see where he's going to cut you up a thousand ways!

Kazuki Kazama- Samurai Spirits is definitely in season this year! This fiery Goku's acoustic theme ROCKS!!!

2002

Minoru Kokubunji- M'man from Chobits. Even though this kid's, what, twelve years old?...he commands a squadron of hot maid persocoms WHICH HE BUILT HIMSELF!!! You've GOT to be THE MAN to pull that one off!!!

If you were as cool as these people, you would Go Back, too...

Created c.July 13, 1998
Last Edited October 31, 2009, 1:24PM EST