written and constructed as john baxter by eric roman. bastadge set it off. 

Gaibon: !!! Look! A chick! And she's NAKED! WOAH! HEH HEH M HEH!!

Berigan: Man, stay back. Let me try this my way. 32 bits on.

Gaibon: Woah! How'd you do that?!?

Berigan: Don't worry about it.

Berigan: Greetings. My name is Berigan. But you can call me Slogra...

Allura Une: *blushes*

Berigan: Farewell.

Gaibon: Dude, Simon could've died of 12 Time Ups while you were talking! How'd it go?!

Berigan: I will see her again.

Berigan: How do I look?

Gaibon: Um...32 bit?

Berigan: Thanks. Now get out. She's here!

Gaibon: Sloggy! How'd it go?

Slogra: We must have imported. And don't call me Sloggy. Only one person can do that.

Gaibon: And he isn't here. So... how'd it go...?

Slogra: We had a dinner of drumsticks, and after that, we--

Gaibon: SCORED! YEEEAAAH! SHAKE IT HOW YOU WANT WIGGLE HOW YOU WANT! WHEN YOU GET A LOT OF MONEY SPEND IT HOW YOU WANT! WE ALWAYS GOT THE NEW ALWAYS COMIN THRU! RAPPIN FOR CLUE WITH MY FLIP MODE CREW CREW CREW !

Slogra: This is CastleVania, not Busta Rhymes or Parappa the Rapper. And stop trying to, because you can't.

Gaibon: . . .

Slogra: And we didn't 'score' as you so rudely put it. We made plans for tomorrow.

Gaibon: Disclose.

Slogra: A ferry ride on Yuba Lake.

Gaibon: Wasn't that place closed after Simon's Quest?

Slogra: ...IF IT WAS, VENUS AND I WOULDN'T BE GOING, NOW WOULD WE?

Gaibon: ...

Slogra: *growl*

Gaibon: ha ha ha ha ha! I got it! I got it already! Calm down. I just forgot about your P.M.S.!

Slogra: PMS?

Gaibon: Yeah. Profusely Maniacal State.

Flea B@$turc|!!!: duh duh duh...you know...I am the Wind...duh duh duh... I sure am...

Boid: HOOT, MAN!

Flea B@$tur|)!!!: AAAAAGH! HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!!

Boid: *CRUNCH*

Boid: Like Danny Cooksey once said, "Give a hoot! Don't leave garbage," like that, "lying on the ground."

Mr. Slogra: My Fair Venus, shall we way to the ferrymen?

Venus Weed: Oh, Sloggytips! Let us shall!

THE MAN!!!!: *poke* Hey Sypha, how much for a ride across the screen?

Dude on Raft: SURE, I'LL TAKE YOU TO A NICE PLACE!! HEH! HEH! HEH!

CastleVania's Craftiest Beak Handler: Sweet Nectar, how about we try another ferryman?

Venus Weed: Oh, Sloggytips! I'll go anywhere with you!

Greenish Dude: Even to...

The guy with the long 3 pronged spear-...wait a minute...don't go there. You... G'ah, you went there. DCTP is no place for such riff raff. Take your gutter soaked brain somewhere else, pervert!

Slogra: Uh, what?

Venus Weed: Did you say something, Sloggytips?

Slogra: No, no...I just thought I overheard something...

Venus Weed: Ooo! Cute Sloggypoo! That is the sound of my love for you!!!

Slogra: ...yeah, whatever, you dumb--- I mean, My Fair Venus!

Venus Weed: Tee hee hee!

Slogra: ...he's a friend of mine. He operates the boating business down here. You know, he's actually a nice guy once you get past his highly limited vocabulary. People in the Dungeon call him the Dark Boatsman or something to that effect. His name's Spanky.

Slogra: Hey, Spank! My man my mellow! How you been these past few centuries?!

Ferry Man: I'll guide you to meet your destiny gee hee heeEEE!

Slogra: That's just great! I'd like you to meet my Lady, Venus. Venus, this is Spanky.

Venus Weed: *giggles* Hello, Spanky!

Ferry Man: I'll take you to a place which might be interesting for you! Hoo hoo hoo gee hee hee!

Slogra: Since we're such good friends, he's offered to give us a trip for free! Isn't he great?

Ferry Man: I'll guide you to meet your destiny gee hee heeEEE!

Venus Weed: Fabulous!

Slogra: Watch your step, My Fair Venus. Okay, here I go. I'm set. Punch it, Spank!

Ferry Man: I'll take you to a place which might be interesting for you! Hoo hoo hoo gee hee hee!

Venus Weed: Oh, Slogracula! This is so beautiful!

Slogra: Not as beautiful as you, my Lady.

Ferry Man: I'll take you to a place which might be interesting for you! Hoo hoo hoo gee hee hee!

Venus Weed: The sights! The sounds! The lost souls sifting through an Eternity of Despair!

Slogra: Actually, I think they're set for Heaven if they've made it here...or is that Purgatory...

Ferry Man: I'll guide you to meet your destiny gee hee heeEEE!

Ghosts: ...help us! The pain! THE PAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!

Ferry Man: I'll take you to a place which might be interesting for you! Hoo hoo hoo gee hee hee!

Venus Weed: Oh, I do wish the kind sir would SHUT UP!

Ferry Man: I'll guide you to meet your destiny gee hee heeEEE!

Slogra: My Fair Venus, I did say he was a nice person...

Ferry Man: I'll take you to a place which might be interesting for you! Hoo hoo hoo gee hee hee!

Venus Weed: Yes...but...

Ferry Man: I'll guide you to meet your destiny gee hee heeEEE!

Slogra: Afraid so. That's the extent of his vocabulary.

Ferry Man: I'll take you to a place which might be interesting for you! Hoo hoo hoo gee hee hee!

Venus Weed: Buttercheeks--

Slogra: ! ! ! ! *almost detonates at the nickname * ! ! ! !

Venus Weed: --is that your friend, Gaibon?

Slogra: ...Gaibon?

Gaibon: Dude! You downin' the river?! That's sweet!

Slogra: ... Excuse me, dear. I must have a word with my good friend.

Venus Weed: Anything for you, my Banana Beaky Babe!

Ferry Man: I'll guide you to meet your destiny gee hee heeEEE!

Slogra: FOOLISH SUB-ZOMBIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Gaibon: I just wanted to see how my man was making out, get it? Making out?

Slogra: You decaying buffoon! Quit following me! Or do you want TWO holes in your torso?!

Gaibon: I have a report. Major babes located in the Ground Water Vein!

Slogra: ...

Gaibon: Frozen Shades, ooo mama! And Scylla's there too! I was gonna approach her but the Chupacabra--

Slogra: We've imported already. Cave Troll.

Gaibon: --Cave Troll got in the way. He's a pushover, no problem. He'll be out of my way in no time, so long as he doesn't put that cheap A.T. Field smackdown on me...

Slogra: ...

Gaibon: Just letting you know! ...if you ever wanna make like a certain "radical new videogame enhancer" and cheat...you know where to go!

Slogra: Listen, I'm not Alucard, outliving 500 wives ova here, so just leave me alone so I can develop a lasting bond with this girl, alright?!

Gaibon: She's naked right now! Why don't you just consummate right now and get it over with--

Slogra: SILENCE! LEAVE, YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!

Gaibon: FINE! Enjoy your little field trip. See if I care!

Venus Weed: Ah, my cuddly dinosaur! The ferryman and I were just having a very well thought out conversation about interesting places and destiny!

Slogra: ...if we separate, the title belts will be given to Wolf Man and Bull Scraps...not good. ...what was that, My Fair Venus? Oh! ...thaaat's nice. Spank, take the left passage and dock at the bank.

Ferry man: Sure.

Slogra & Venus Weed: *jaws gape open in shock of hearing his new word*

Slogra: My Fair Venus...

Venus Weed: My good natured beast...

Slogra: I like you. Alot. And it's not (just) because of your digitally perfect body or the nudity.

Venus Weed: ...

Slogra: What I wish to ask you is...

Venus Weed: Yes, buttercheeks?

Slogra: *almost explodes again* rrr...eh...

Venus Weed: Are you alright?

Slogra: What I meant to ask you was...

Flea B@$tur|)s: SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY!

Slogra: AGH!

Venus Weed: Eeeeek!

Slogra: What in the blue furred blazes rancid scum sucking bucket slime weed eating snaaaaail was that?!?

Venus Weed: *still stuck on the tenth word* ???

Boid: MANGOS!!!!

Slogra: Will you marry me, Ms. Venus?

Venus Weed: Okay! You're the coolest CastleVania character ever! Of course I'll marry you!

Slogra: Oh, I get that from Eric all the time.

Venus Weed: Eric wants to marry you?

Slogra: ACK!! No! I meant---

Gaibon: Dude, you takin' vows?! That's sweet!

Grim Reaper: Do you, Venus (last name not given), take this anorexic dinosaur to be your evilly wedded husband?

Venus Weed: Oh, yes! Yes I do!

Grim Reaper: As you were. Slogra, do you take this plant chick to be your evilly wedded wife?

Slogra: You got it.

Grim Reaper: Very well, then. By the powers infestered in me by the webmaster of the Dracula's Curse site, the guy at John and Audras, that Bastadge character and the Caliban, I dub thee, DA MAN!!! and his wife

Gaibon: Cool. Now you're gonna score.

Grim Reaper: Slogra, you may now... ...go clean up the Minotaur droppings in the Coliseum like I had asked last week, but claimed the Count had you on overtime.

Slogra: Yes, sir.