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1990
Playoh Gameboyo
(39 seconds, 430kb WAV)
I'm playing through the first level of The CastleVania Adventure in late
summer of 1990. As we join tonight's session, I was monologing
something about "the Simon who cried wuff" when hit. I also sing
along with the theme and make a very vague reference to a Sesame Place
commercial. Actually...this clip is kinda dumb to be going public like
this...
1991
Cyclops Tragedy
(1 minute 11 seconds, 767kb WAV. Added January 15, 2001.)
DATELINE: Night One of my Easter '91 vacation. Yet ANOTHER drudgerous
trip through the Haunted Ship of Fools with Sypha at my side, I took out
the Mummy Brothers and was now face to eye with Cyclops. I played a valiant
game of Chicken, getting my lashes in, but, with only ONE hit left for
him, I do something stupid and he nails me. The pain is excruciating,
and, not since (the first) Dracula Battle Barely Perfect, has it ever
been so tangible. Let's wince along with the 10-year-old-me, folks...
AND this was my last man...
Frank's Triumph (46
seconds, 312kb WAV)
It seems a miracle when my cousin Frankie actually makes it to the second
half of the last 'Vania 3 stage.
Dracula Battle Barely Perfect (43
seconds, 468kb WAV. Added c.July 13, 1997.)
One Friday night in the spring, I'm up until the 10 hour trying to get
to and destroy Dracula! This is the first Dracula Battle Barely Perfect,
premiering at Dracula's Curse THE PAGE!!! in July 1997.
Grim
Reaper Chaos (26 seconds,
284kb WAV)
With some careful guidance on my part, Frankie makes it to the Grim Reaper
in CastleVania 1 (the journey is A LOT harder than III). A desperate struggle
ensues that not even a Triple Shot could help...
IT'S DRACULA!!! (22 seconds,
245kb WAV)
My First Communion will always be remembered as...the day Frank and I
first got to Drac and fought his final form! Before that, however, we
dealt with a Phantom Bat gauntlet and that mess with the Mole Men and
Eagles. Standing at the final doorway, Frankie asks, "Is this Dracula?"
When we realize where we are, two words echo about the room; "IT'S
DRACULA!!!" Check the CVIII reference! (Dracula's Curse was actually
my first NES CV game. Simon's Quest was second, and 1 was the last, so
the familiar setting was like a throwback.)
CastleVania
6-2-91 (14 seconds, 155kb
WAV)
Within an hour or two of the previous clip, Frank manages to wipe Drac's
energy line. The monster that follows was somewhat expected (thanks to
Nintendo Power's CVIII coverage), but not its agility! Man, were
we happy when we first learned we could continue at the beginning of this
section...
Video Power
Part 1 (38 seconds,
412kb WAV.)
Video Power Part 2 (32
seconds, 353kb WAV.)
Video Power Part 3 (51
seconds, 556kb WAV.)
Video Power Part 4 (40
seconds, 442kb WAV.
1~4 added January 15, 2001.)
Power Team
(30 seconds, 334kb WAV. Added January 15, 2001?)
Summer, 1991. Come about July, and Frank and I STILL unable to
beat Dracula in CastleVania 1. As we trudge through Stage 5, one of us
sets off a Video
Power show,
complete with tips. (This was before its HUGE change in September.)
First, Frankie tries to describe the best way to build up your Double
and Triple Shots for your Boomerang in the next to last room before the
Grim Reaper. It goes pretty well until he forgets the item's name...
Next, I get the mic and explain Funky Ruuze's tip on how you should wait
near the top of the staircase and simultaneously hit the Red Skeleton
and Dragon Skull Cannon with the Boomerang to score the Double Shot. (A
'New Yawk' accent emerges for a moment...)
In Part 3, I quote the mutant bull episode from Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles as Frank offers a tip for CastleVania II. I take my cue and
recite a familiar string of letters; a password I have always mentioned
when talking about Simon's Quest. Listen closely towards the end for a
live suicide mission against the Grim Reaper.
Part 4 is an in-depth Video Power review on...how to use the controller
to play Mega Man 3! Fans of The Real Ghostbusters may recognize
the Octopus Ink employee chant ("You command, I obey...") near
the end.
...and as if THOSE weren't enough, it's Power Team time! In today's episode,
Mr. Big explodes on his way to Drac, Spike launches ordnance, and Joe
ODs on chili burgers. Meanwhile, CastleVania 1's Stage 5 theme plays,
Axe Men are taken out, and Holy Water is tossed in the best Power Team
episode never made!
Dracula's
Christmas Vacation (38
seconds, 410kb WAV)
In a rare event at this time, Frankie squares off with Dracula's second
form in Super CastleVania IV. I sing along with the Stage 1 tune as Frank
attempts to take care of business. (Shortly after the end of this clip,
I realize I'm using the wrong tape. Unfortunately, the one I wound up
using, "Super Nintendo Christmas/Absolutely Super Nintendo"...wound
up absolutely unwound within the next couple of months...)
1992
Video Power
Power Picks Players Round
(5 minutes 33 seconds, 96kbps, 3,910kb MP3. Added c.October
8, 2009.)
As you might recall, Video
Power underwent a huge format overhaul for its second season,
beginning in September of 1991. Video Power had started out as
a short and informative wraparound for the Power Team chore (and quite
a time capsule, if you think about it!), but when it came back, it had
become the best game show EVER. Flaunt your
skillz before a cheering crowd (Wizard-style!), test your game knowledge, and if you pass the second
and final round of gameplay, run through the Power Mall: a
paradise where the videogame stock-cage of Toys R Us is yours for the
grabbing...if you can manage to stick it to your Power Vest!
The time is early 1992. The place is the room where Simon cried 'wuff'
and I slipped against Cyclops. The game is Super CastleVania IV! During
the previous summer (and in a different room), our Video Power
was all about getting through the game. In winter of 1992, it was all
about putting on a show for it; I'm Johnny Arcade, and our contestants
are my cousins Frankie and Lici. This is the Power Picks Players Round. (I try to breathlessly rattle off as many P-words as positively possible,
thanks to having recently seen "Baseball Bugs", a Bugs Bunny short.)
I explain the rules and, despite giving props to Sonic the Hedgehog
(as Johnny would randomly do), the first question actually regards CastleVania IV. Lici scores this one (and a handmade activity book,
in which I had written several of those lung-twisters, comes in handy).
The second question regards a game based off one of our all-time favorite shows, Muppet Babies. As far as I knew then, a game of it didn't exist, so this was most likely a trap question (again, as Johnny
would randomly do).
The musical question features the cave of CastleVania IV as Steve Trekas
pantomimes playing it on his guitar (as he usually would).
Lici's streak continues through the fourth test: recognizing a certain
block-breaking sound effect as the same used when smashing Puweyxil's
dome.
The final question, identifying a game screen, was pretty much driving
the point that Tiny Toon Adventures was MY SHOW. Slamming
the booby prize into Frankie, I wrap it up in true Bugs Bunny fashion.
;]
(In this clip, as in the next, you might notice something going on between
RECs; they were actually recorded over sessions of Sonic the
Hedgehog and Streets of Rage.)
(Nick
Arcade had nothing on Video Power!!!)
GamePro
(4 minutes 27 seconds, 92kbps, 3,130kb MP3. Added c.October
8, 2009.)
One reason the 1991-92 school year rocked HARD was the
amount of videogame-related shows airing on TV! Video
Power, Captain
N and the New Super Mario World, and GamePro
TV satisfied my cousins and I nearly every morning of the week!
Shortly after the Power Picks Players Round during the Saturday above,
I began an episode of GamePro with tips on getting through Super
CastleVania IV's very tricky Stage 4. In true J.D. Roth fashion, I head
into "S.C.A.T. World".
First, I explain how to get past the part with the flipping tiles that
we always seem to fall through...unless we were whipping diagonally before
the jump...
Next is a tip on beating Puweyxil (with a repetition in true GPTV fashion).
In S.W.A.T. THE FLY, I give a hint on how to pass Stage 4-2...after catching
Lici going through my stuff!
In dizzying Stage 4-3, I quote a Game
Player's Nintendo Guide article as its spectacular effects disorient
Frankie. ("Be ready to jump...!" stabs Roth's pointless adage
during his Top Secret Area tip for Super Mario World.)
In Stage 4-4, I try to sabotage Frank's game by trying to convince him
that the giant, scrolling stones can be destroyed. I also misinform him
when it comes to a certain horse relief. A quote from a
certain Dinosaur video wraps the show on somewhat of a dull note...
1993
Slogra
1993 Part 1 (28 seconds,
307kb WAV)
Slogra
1993 Part 2 (13 seconds,
140kb WAV)
Slogra
1993 Part 3 (23
seconds, 253kb WAV)
One Saturday evening In November of 1993, I pop in Super CastleVania IV
following a string of boredom with my friend, Jason
Gaines.
In the first two recordings, the 8-year-old is pitted against
the Dinosaur Knight, Slogra! Earlier, he had expressed that didn't want
to face masters/bosses. I reminded him that he did indeed beat Street
Fighter II on his own, so that got him busy.
I man the set in the 3rd clip, in which we arrive near the end of my A-B-Cs,
1-2-3s 1993 Slogra-bash routine as I toast the dino and rock a snippet
of a classic Beavis & Butthead victory riff!
Dino
Bat 1993 (40 seconds, 438kb WAV)
A few minutes later, Jason gives a great
commentary of my battle with the Blue Gargoyle Bat. "OH SHOOT, NOW HE
SHOOTED!" Indeed.
1995
Slogra
Play by Play Part 1 (54
seconds, 583kb WAV)
Slogra
Play by Play Part 2 (21
seconds, 231kb WAV)
Slogra
Play by Play Part 3 (39
seconds, 430kb WAV)
When last by my side in the winter of 1993, Quoc Tran, one of my best
friends from elementary school, was helping me gun down Red Falcon in
Contra III: The Alien Wars. Near the bottom of May 1995, he returned
and provided one great play-by-play for an all-too-classic Slogra dance.
In the first part, I prepare Simon and guide him into Slogra's room, swatting
THE MAN!!! as Quoc's pronunciation of "groin" throws me off.
I'd been doing well until things took a sharp and deadly turn. I shriek
my last...
Joined in progress in part two, a close fight as Slogra beaks with three
energies left; I desperately cling to my last.
In the finale, Slogra's staff "exploded like mad!" and I've
got the upper hand...for a second. "The Beak" aims to make it
a fair fight, but three more beats with The Whip and Slogra gets taken
OUT! Screw Dizkneeland, I'm going after the Blue Gargoyle Bat!
(These were the first trio
of Slogra WAVs on DCTP.)
Dracula
X, Thanksgiving 1995 (59
seconds, 638kb WAV)
On Turkey Night '95, Frankie and I have some serious beef with
Dracula X. In this clip, my cousin squares off against Dracula's devilish
appearance and comes painfully close... (It's a bit hard to hear, so hit
SK for the details.)
1997
(After this site's birth!)
CastleVania
MODERN NIGHTMARE! (1
minute 7 seconds, 732kb WAV)
(I don't think Lucas Goodman would
mind my naming this one after his CV game idea...it just makes sense!)
July, 1997: the age of summer school, Sailor Moon episodes taped
off USA network's Action Extreme Team, the earlier days of Dracula's Curse
THE PAGE!!!, and Frankie's frequent, fun-filled visits. In this situation,
probably the clearest WAV to date (c.11-27-1997),
I battle Dracula in CastleVania III as Frank punches up points in Konami's
Nemesis on the Game Boy Pocket. The battle goes pretty well,
even including some looney voice characterization, until a stupid and
fatal mistake on Dracula's last, inert, Demon Statue form...
1998
Playing
Stupid Part 1 (41 seconds, 647kb
WAV)
Playing
Stupid Part 2 (1 minute,
10 seconds, 1,108kb WAV. Both added c.June 14, 1998.)
Recorded in January of 1998, Eric Roman, creator of Dracula's Curse
THE PAGE!!! and CVIII authority (so I've been told), apparently doesn't
know JACK about the game!
For yuks, I feign ignorance while following Jason's
EXACT directions for fighting the Skull Knight. Push buttons, he says...so
I grab the dormant PlayStation controller and start tapping...
Fire Fight
(1 minute 30 seconds, 1,414kb WAV. Added c.June 14, 1998.)
Some time afterward, I resume my duty of "Jason's
SotN Strategy Guide" as he attempts to shoot for the best ending.
In this pretty tense moment, he and his 8 Hit Points struggle against
the ferocious firebird, Hippogryph. Following his miraculous conquest,
we spit flames on Maria's horrid pronunciation of "Richter"
in the following interlude.
The Glitch
(1 minute 12 seconds, 785kb WAV. Added June 25, 1999.)
In the summer of 1998, I rip apart CV1's 5th stage while spoofing a Master
P skit. Suddenly, the Nintendo STOPS—
2001
It took just a blinking underscore for
the summer of 2001 to take a very tough turn.
What would later be referred to as The Virus Incident of 8|9 2001 had
just forced about five years of Collecteds and Createds into a
digital abyss. According to Dell, reformatting C: was the only way to
get the Machine of Power working again...
Anything not on a CD-R, -RW, or Zip Disk (or part of the 12-11-1999 A:
backup, I'd learn in 2004) was gone, with seemingly no return. On the
other hand, a new appreciation for CastleVania III had come of it...
Not-Sypha (13
seconds, 398kb WAV. Added April
2, 2002.)
With The Virus Incident freshly steaming in
mind, a forced rebuild of DCTP's offline files sparks a CastleVania III
renaissance, of sorts. For this game, Jason
aims for Alucard The REAL; I point to the path that'll take us there.
Mud Madness
1 (1 minute 17 seconds, 1,700kb WAV)
Mud Madness 2 (22
seconds, 697kb WAV)
Mud Madness 3 (50
seconds, 1,573kb WAV. All added
April 2, 2002.)
The Murky Marsh of Morbid Morons (or Dire Mire
Marsh) is the stage of this cool set of WAVs, picking up from the end
of the previous.
First, I reference a certain silhouette in the Sypha trail as Jason
faces some tough times in the muck. A quick stab at slang words leads
to an even tougher time underground, where I declare a supreme truth about
CastleVania III, "...I like this game..." Unfortunately for
him, Jason bites the mud.
In the second clip, I'm up...at least, I should be. Jason's having
too much fun to give up the Control Pad!
In the third clip, Jason encounters the Big Bad Phantom Bat for the first
time ever. I usually take care of this Ultimate Evil near the stairs,
but before I can advise him, Jason makes a jump that nearly costs him
the battle! Despite being taken aback by the Bat's splitting technique,
Jason miraculously survives!
Alucard's
Homie (42 seconds, 1,338 kb WAV. Added
April 2, 2002.)
Jason encounters
Alucard for the first time, but the Drac-ish giant isn't exactly what
he expects!
|
As
you might know, the title of this history-ridden section, Battles Barely
Perfect, is a play off Konami's Perfect Selection Dracula Battle,
a pair of CDs consisting of OUTSTANDING rock renditions of CastleVania
tunes up to 1994. Japan
really loves their games, so it's not uncommon for publishers to
release a soundtrack or two alongside 'em. Sometimes, they'll even go
so far as a remix or symphonic suite! Sweet! The States doesn't
get it this good, 
At
any rate, ever since I was a kid,
I've had a habit of documenting the world around me in blind audio tape.
To this day, I very much enjoy keeping the past for future reference.
The hundreds of tapes in my stacks, 'specially
those from the early 90s, seep with recordings of TV shows, commercials
(especially those from the Super NES' early days), and my cousins
and I enjoying Nintendo...